Episode 6 - Battle of the Crazies

Ok, so last week's episode ended with no rose ceremony and Kelsey having a nervous breakdown. Fast forward to this episode and....

Kelsey is (still) having a "panic attack" or in Kaitlyns words "bitches be crazy"


Touché.

Once Kelsey apparently feels ok she tells the medic that she wants Chris and that she better get a rose for this. Ugh, Kelsey, if we didn't think you were fake before, now we definitely do. 

Chris comes out and could not even pretend to care. He is like hey, you look great. 



So everyone is SUPER PISSED that Kelsey is getting more time with Chris.


They keep showing Samantha making an angry face but yet she hasn't said a word??!! 

Ok so now the rose ceremony that should have been Episode 5's commences. 

Does anyone notice the girls are all shivering? Like can barely stand??? 

Spoiler alert: Ashley cries.

Here's who got a rose:

1. Jade 
2. Kaitlyn
3. Megan
4. Becca
5. Ashley
6. Kelsey

Also don't forget: Whitney, Britt and Carly had roses. 9 girls standing. Well, shaking.

Going home: Mackenzie and Samantha

FINALLY SAMANTHA SPEAKS! 

Now Episode 6 can truly begin. They go to...

Deadwood South Dakota

I get it that Chris is all farmy but don't they usually go to international destinations and what not? These girls got jipped. Maybe Chris doesn't have a passport.

Breakdown of dates this week: there's a 1 on 1, a 2 on 1 (yessss) and a group date.

1 on 1  - Becca - Let's Give Love a Shot



I really like Becca and I hope this goes well. 

Chris and Becca start the date by riding horses through the brush (I'm confused why was there a donkey?)...

Back at the house...Carly's hate for Kelsey is getting more and more intense.

So, Carly Whitney and Kaitlyn (sort of... she didn't really say a word) confront Kelsey on being fake...and Kelsey pretends that she had no clue anyone felt that way and will try to be better...and then on the confessional:

"I am blessed with eloquence, I use big words because I'm intelligent." 

Back to the date Chris is like this date is cool because Becca is cool. Kelsey's vocab would be helpful right now.

Becca and Chris are totally hitting it off.

Did he really just ask her about her 5 year plan? Did he learn nothing from Jillian? Is this the only line he can remember from what to say on 1 on 1 dates???

  MAKE OUT SESH TIME. Good for you, Becca!

Becca gets a rose.

Group Date: Let's Make Sweet Music Together
  1. Whitney
  2. Jade
  3. Britt
  4. Kaitlyn
  5. Carly
  6. Megan
Ok, so this means Ashley and Kelsey have the 2 on 1. Is it wrong I want both of them to go home? 

When they get to the group date, they find out Big and Rich are helping them write songs. It looks like Megan and Whitney are star struck, Carly, Kaitlyn, and Britt have no clue who they are, and Jade wants to hide in a hole. 

They each have to write a song and then perform it solo?! I have anxiety just thinking about that. Can you imagine how much alcohol is flowing during this date?! 

CHRIS why are you doing this to yourself? (all over Britt in front of the other girls)


Watching Chris sing is so awkward and yet endearing. It is sweet that he sang before the girls to make them feel more comfortable. Also he definitely did not write those lyrics.

I've said it before but the secondhand embarassment is killing me right now!


Carly does an awesome job and Megan doesn't have a bad voice either.

Sidenote: Poor Jade. I totally feel her pain.



So Chris and the girls sit down and have time to chat after the first part of the date, except that Chris runs with Britt to a Big and Rich concert and Britts like I KNOW THESE GUYS! THEY'RE MY HOMIES! 

It's actually really sweet watching Chris and Britt but they keep showing the rest of the girls on the date being upset and then I'm mad...I can't decide whose side I'm on.

Chris proceeds to give Britt the rose ON STAGE!




Aaaand cue the complete silence when Britt goes back to the rest of the group, I mean who didn't see that coming?

2 on 1: 2 Girls 1 Rose 1 Stays 1 Goes

Ashley is the worst, Kelsey is the worst. You guys, this is going to be good. 

Kelsey names all the presidents on Mount Rushmore and Ashley is like who cares, "I can't even."

Kelsey thinks she is forcing Chris to think really hard meanwhile him and Ashley are making out...and now Ashley is wisely spending her time talking about Kelsey.

My money is on both of them going home. 

"I may be a virgin but I'm sexy and she's not." YOU GO GIRL.

This is like battle of the crazies.

Kelsey talks, Chris doesn't care, aaaand then Chris tells Kelsey that Ashley talked about her being fake. COME ON CHRIS!



Drink up Ash. You're time is limited. Because Kelsey is going to kill you.



"If you don't think I'm intelligent enough to see through you, you're friggen hilarious." Cue hysterical crying.

I can't do it anymore with Ashley's spidery lashes.

Long story short: Chris tells Ashley that they are at different places, as in - he's on planet earth and she is in a princess castle on Mars. Now she is berating him in the middle of the Bad Lands like a 17 year old sent to her room.

Kelsey creepily smiles as she sees Ashley crying.

And then ... Chris sends her home too. Well played Chris! 

They all literally jump up and down on the couches and Carly pours everyone a celebratory drink and this is hilarious.

No rose ceremony??? It's 9:57 there's not going to be a rose ceremony?

Rose ceremony on SUNDAY?! 2 day event? 

Predictions: Britt loses it and goes home on her own after realizing she could not live in Iowa on a farm...Megan gets eliminated next rose ceremony, and the rest I don't know about???

What do you think is going to happen next? Comment below! 

Xoxo!!

4 comments:

  1. I think Donkle was there to carry their....accessories? Picnic stuff? Gunz? (BTW, I was terrified in the credits that Becca was gonna shoot the donkle.)

    Kardashley's makeup was BEYOND insane on that date. Hate u, Kels, but you are right in that regard. I *LOVED* Ashley's completely crazy freak out throughout this entire date, which was SO embarrassing, but also like, let's be real, I've been there. Terrible and wonderful to watch, but who HASN'T had that "walk away, turn around and yell some more, ugly cry and yell" fight before?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True. I think I missed a part with donkle in that episode because I was too busy writing notezzzz...and yes Kardashley's makeup was too much on that date and EVERY OTHER DATE...and how did she manage to not get a single stream of mascara down her face in all her crying fits?

      Delete
  2. Love the kardashley name! Brilliant! This season is phenomenal!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! Chris is quiet but the girls are carrying it!!!

      Delete