I APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING - The Bachelorette - Night 1



Hey my bachelor loving babes! It feels like just yesterday I was like hey look they picked the farmer to be the bachelor, and yet here we are, May 18th, with Chris Harrison's personal birthday present to me, the new season of #thebachelorette.

Britt, Kaitlyn, Kaitlyn, Britt, let's get this show on the road!

Contestant Intros:

Jonathan from Detroit - I like you. The kid, the snow suits, you got me.

Joe from Columbia, Kentucky - I HAVE...SEVEN WORDS FOR YOU: CHRIS SOULES HAS ALREADY HAD A SEASON. 

Josh from Chicago - Umm this is unexpected. Like I'm sorry would they ever choose a stripper for a girl on the bachelor? Jk yes OF COURSE THEY WOULD. 


WHEN ARE THE CUTE GUYS COMING OUT!? 

Joshua, guy with the dogs...the welder - OK we like you but not a whole lot to say.

Ian from Venice Beach - I love you. FINALLY A CUTE GUY.

<3

Jered from Warwick, RI...who picked this guy!? Seriously! What is going on with that hair!

Tony, the spirtual gangster - maybe you...should...not be on this show. 

Ben, personal trainer from San Jose, YOU ARE ...just ok.

Is every guy required to run without a shirt in their intro? OK FINE.

Limo Entrances:

These are even more awkward than usual because these guys have to say hi to Kaitlyn and Britt and like choose which to say hi to first...and...it's super awkward.

I have to say, I love Britt's dress. REMINDS ME A LITTLE OF A CERTAIN DRESS I WILL BE WEARING SOON...

Which reminds me, in all seriousness, WHO CAN GET CHRIS HARRISON TO OFFICIATE MY WEDDING!? COME ON. Someone reading this has the connections and I know you can make it happen. COME ON, PEOPLE! Have I done nothing for you!?

First out of the limo, Ben! 

SOOO awkward to see Kaitlyn and Britt looking at each other as the guys talk to the other girl. 

Intros so far are uneventful. A lot of weird moments but nothing good.

Until some weirdo says to Britt:

"Heyyyy Disney princess" (what the fuck?) jk I wish someone would says that to me. I'm jealous.

Jerod is like "I got this LOVE-man shirt especially made for me."...yeah, "Jerod", we know. Because no one else on the earth would ever buy that shirt. Or even think of that. And especially not as their intro to a national TV show. 

Britt is all like "I feel like I'm, like, the Bachelorette!" ENOUGH BRITT.

JJ with the ol' "I'd like to puck you" 

...

Joe from Kentucky bringing moonshine is a solid intro. I take back my Chris Soules insult.

Also how am I going to stay awake another hour? 

THIS HOT TUB CAR IS EVERYTHING. And so is the drunk guy telling this guy how much his car sucks and how much he sucks.

This dentist guy in the cupcake, I can't even. 

OK, 25 guys are now inside...and are responsible for voting for the next bachelorette. I hope the "super horned up" drunk guy will not be voting.

IAN steals Kaitlyns time. I love them! I hope they get married....tonight.

Wait...does the spiritual gangster have a black eye!? 

My fiancées only comment about this episode is that the voting room looks like a memorial for Britt and Kaitlyn LOL #true

Ok TONY THE SPIRTUAL GANGSTERS EYE GETS WORSE AND WORSE AS THE NIGHT GOES ON. 

Aaaand the drunk dude goes home. But he has totally made this show. My favorite part was how he so peacefully left the show at Chris Harrison's request. His only comment was "right now?" and then he crawled into the limo. 

Who is this guy in the hat unlocking the boxes in the memorial voting room?!

AND... The decision has been made, and we will find out, TOMORROW. 

Flash forward to Monday and: goodbye Britt! (Super awkward that Chris Harrison had to awkwardly reject her???) 

So, the bachelorette is Kaitlyn! 



Some of the guys are excited and some aren't sooooo this is awkward for all those guys that were all #teambritt.

So at this point it's probably like 5am in filming, Kaitlyn just found out she is the bachelorette and that she has to do a rose ceremony...so yeah she is definitely wasted. 

I'm 100% sure Kaitlyn doesn't even want to talk to any of the guys she definitely wants to just go to sleep. Until the Dentist cupcake entrance guy and her start making out. 

"He's a slut" was my moms response to this.

First impression rose - goes to... SHAWN (SEAN?)



And here's who made it through:

DENTIST CHRIS
BEN H
JJ
KENTUCKY JOE
KUPAH
DANIEL (?!)
RYAN B
JOSHUA 
BLACK EYE TONY 
FRANK
CORY THE 80 YEAR OLD MAN
JONATHAN
CORY SCHREIVER (?!)
BENZY
KEVIN
IAN
PURPLE PROM TIE JUSTIN
LOVEMAN 

GOODBYE: 

STRIPPER
RANDOM BRITT FAN 1
HOT TUB TIME MACHINE

Not going to lie the previews look really good. What is Nick Viall doing there? Who did Kaitlyn sleep with? Does Ian turn out to be a douche? Who knows! 

PLEASE let me know what you think by commenting below!

XOXO & thanks for reading!






1 comment:

  1. I still think it is really shady that there was no announcement of the actual vote tally! Was it rigged from the beginning?! How many aren't even there "for" Kaitlyn anyway.

    ReplyDelete